What do I do, you ask? I eat. Things I shouldn't. Granted, I don't eat like Pre C&P Laurie, but damn, I don't eat like I should. It's work. I think about food CONSTANTLY at work. I snack constantly. Yesterday snacks consisted of hearts of palm with a few sprays of Ceasar dressing, some sour patch kids, Cheerios snack mix, etc. Yeah, hearts of palm are a great snack at only 20 calories for a whole freakin jar. But SOUR PATCH KIDS? Um.. no! There is NOTHING healthy about these.. sure, they're fat free, but honestly, I think fat is better than sugar in our case. I've also taken a newfound liking to frappuccino lights at Starbucks. I don't give a flip if they're light.. they're still laden with sugar and there are a million other things that would be a healthier solution. I'm trying to quit the Starbucks.. I really think they put something in there to make you addicted, why else would we pay $3 for a drink? It's freakin ridiculous.
Some theories on why we do what we do... thank you so much to Jil for helping provide these theories!
- if we don't completely succeed (ie. reach our ultimate goal), we can justify not being happy with ourselves, or have the "what now" syndrome. If we are not at goal, we still have something to blame besides ourselves.
- what if things are still not what we thought they would be. Our fat was a crutch.. still is actually. What if we do not find our happiness that we didn't have b/c we were fat once we aren't fat anymore?
- If we reach goal, we have to figure out how to DEAL with issues, vs. just silencing ourselves with our former best friend, food.
This crap needs to stop. I have lost close to 160 pounds. I can lose another 10. I have a pouch, not a football sized stomach like I used to. Sure, it may have stretched a bit, but it is still nowhere near what it used to be. I need to stop finding comfort in my old things, and learn to deal with life. I have so many wonderful things happening in my life, and although work is driving me mad lately, I can't let my thoughts win. I'm better than that.. we all are!!