About Gastric Girl

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Tomball, TX, United States
My name is Laurie. I'm 34 and I live in a suburb of Houston, TX. My life isn't super exciting or ultra dramatic, but I love it! My blogs are just a peek into my life as I know it. I'm quite random and have an opinion on everything, but I love everyone's aspect on things, even if I disagree. The world would be quite boring if not! :-)

5/13/2010

Thursday 13 - Old Me


Dang! I missed last week because work was soo freakin busy!
Since I've been struggling with my focus lately, this week will be 13 things that the 312 pound me wants the 160 pound me to always remember... Then, when times are tough, I can always refer back to this blog and hopefully regain some focus and stay on track!
  1. At 312 pounds, I had zero self esteem. I didn't think I was worthy of love, friendship or companionship.
  2. At 312 pounds, I was dangerously close to having to special order clothes since I was in the largest size at the Avenue/Lane Bryant/etc.
  3. At 312 pounds, I couldn't sit in a chair with my back on the back rest, as my butt was too large.. it looked like I was laying back if I tried to!
  4. At 312 pounds, I spent my evenings and weekends playing games on the computer and had no activity outside of the house. I was a sloth.
  5. At 312 pounds, I had so much anxiety about social situations because of my size. I would try to think of ways to get out of doing anything where people would stare at me.
  6. At 312 pounds, I was dangerously close to having Type 2 Diabetes. I had sleep apnea, dangerously high blood pressure, eczema, bad skin, achy joints, and the list goes on.
  7. At 312 pounds, I would be out of breath from bringing groceries in from the car, from going up one flight of stairs, or from walking from my car to the building.
  8. At 312 pounds, I was too "proud" to ask for a seat belt extension on an airplane, and opted to have the seat belt dig into me and give me bruises afterwards.
  9. At 312 pounds, I couldn't sit down at a concert, because I spilled into my neighbors seats as well.
  10. At 312 pounds, I wanted to be invisible.
  11. At 312 pounds, I made terrible decisions that affected my life for many, many years.
  12. At 312 pounds, I would order enough food to feed a family - just for myself.
  13. At 312 pounds, I had no hope for the future.
There we have it. The purpose of this post is not to depress anyone, or make you feel sorry for me. I am no longer that 312 pound person. But, I never, EVER want to forget her. When you forget, it's easier to slide back into the bad habits that got me there in the first place.

RIP, 312 pound girl.

12 comments:

SouthernMD1969 said...

That was a girl that was a joy to know and the woman she is now is even better. You are and have always been loved...

Tricia said...

I still feel all those things every day. You've come a long way! Can't wait to be where you are, looking back and realizing how different life can be.

Janet said...

It's good to keep those things in mind because we all know how hard it is to keep motivated sometimes! You've done a fantastic job, congrats to you :-)

✯FiTCETERA✯ said...

I still feel many of those very same things.
I avoided concerts for a long time. I go now but try and get an aisle seat so I only have one person I encroach on.

No kidding ... you had a nice booty!

Sparkler said...

You're a great inspiration to all those starting out now who are in the place where you were. They can get there just like you did. WTG!

I hope you can look back kindly now on that 312lb girl and know she deserved the best of everything even though she never realised it at the time. xx

zoom yummy said...

Oh, you are so strong with what you've achieved. It's so great that you're able to write about it - you might help so many others who don't know how to start or which way to go... Bravo! :) Petra

Libby said...

Thank you for posting this! :)

Falon said...

Ah Laurie, you are so courageous. Thanks for sharing this.

*Tracy* said...

youve come along way, congrats!

Chris H said...

It is always good to look back... you have done so well chick!

Lisa Michelle said...

OMG, the transformation both mentally and physically is astounding! You are beautiful! You were beautiful when you were overweight, but now you're healthy and beautiful! I'm so happy for you *hugs*

411 Gurl said...

One of the things I want to lose weight over is to "blend into a crowd" I realized after reading your wanting to be invisible that I don't want to blend in.. I just won't want to be invisible anymore. I so identified with so many of your memories. Thank you for sharing them.