Dang! I missed last week because work was soo freakin busy!
Since I've been struggling with my focus lately, this week will be 13 things that the 312 pound me wants the 160 pound me to always remember... Then, when times are tough, I can always refer back to this blog and hopefully regain some focus and stay on track!
- At 312 pounds, I had zero self esteem. I didn't think I was worthy of love, friendship or companionship.
- At 312 pounds, I was dangerously close to having to special order clothes since I was in the largest size at the Avenue/Lane Bryant/etc.
- At 312 pounds, I couldn't sit in a chair with my back on the back rest, as my butt was too large.. it looked like I was laying back if I tried to!
- At 312 pounds, I spent my evenings and weekends playing games on the computer and had no activity outside of the house. I was a sloth.
- At 312 pounds, I had so much anxiety about social situations because of my size. I would try to think of ways to get out of doing anything where people would stare at me.
- At 312 pounds, I was dangerously close to having Type 2 Diabetes. I had sleep apnea, dangerously high blood pressure, eczema, bad skin, achy joints, and the list goes on.
- At 312 pounds, I would be out of breath from bringing groceries in from the car, from going up one flight of stairs, or from walking from my car to the building.
- At 312 pounds, I was too "proud" to ask for a seat belt extension on an airplane, and opted to have the seat belt dig into me and give me bruises afterwards.
- At 312 pounds, I couldn't sit down at a concert, because I spilled into my neighbors seats as well.
- At 312 pounds, I wanted to be invisible.
- At 312 pounds, I made terrible decisions that affected my life for many, many years.
- At 312 pounds, I would order enough food to feed a family - just for myself.
- At 312 pounds, I had no hope for the future.
RIP, 312 pound girl.