Beck Diet Solution - Day 1

As I am getting further out from surgery, weight loss is much harder, and I'm really having to focus on fixing my head, as if I don't, I know I'll be in danger of weight gain. One of the ways I'm trying to get my head "fixed" is by reading the "Beck Diet Solution" by Judith Beck. I've mentioned the book before, and I highly recommend it even though I'm only a few chapters into it. It's basically a book that you have to work through. It's a 6 week program, with each day being assigned a new task. Some tasks you will repeat on a daily basis, and others, you're done when you're done. It's based on cognitive therapy, which is teaching your brain to think differently.

Day 1's task is to Record the Advantages of Losing Weight. I am to keep this on and index card and read this every day, and whenever I'm feeling myself craving something I shouldn't. Well, this is easy enough, and I figured it can be helpful to all of you, whether you're pre-op or post-op.
Soo....... here is my list of advantages of losing weight, in no particular order, as I am flying freehand right now, and writing them as I go. I'm sure I will think of 100's more reasons but here is what I have in my head now! :)

1. I will be more self confident.
2. I will be more outgoing.
3. I will have accomplished something that I haven't been able to do in a lifetime so far.
4. I will look better.
5. I will FEEL better.
6. I will be healthier.
7. I will be noticed more.
8. I will like myself.
9. I will be able to be more active.
10. I will have fewer problems conceiving when the time is right.
11. I will have more energy.
12. I will feel more in control of myself and my surroundings.
13. I will be happier.
14. I will not hide from the world because I am too fat.
15. I will have more self worth.
16. I will be more assertive.
17. I will not be as afraid of rejection.
18. Others will find me more attractive.
19. I will not be hindered by my size.
20. I will say YES to more activities.
21. I will be an inspiration to someone out there.
22. I will be able to help others lose weight as well.
23. I will believe in myself more.
24. I will be less critical of myself.
25. I'll live longer.
26. I won't have anyone tell me I have a pretty face. I will be told that I am pretty.
27. I'll get joy out of clothes shopping.

I'm sure a ton more will come to me, but that's much more than what will fit on my index card to re-read daily!

My list would have been much longer if I had done this pre-op or immediately post op. Riding in airplanes, rollercoasters, etc. would have definitely made the list... Sitting in patio furniture without breaking it... you get the idea! There are sooo many wonderful things about losing weight, and I have experienced so many. I just need to work on my mind, b/c in my mind I'm still the fat girl that no one noticed.. and I know it's not true, but I can't keep it out of my head permanently, and get over the fact that I'm not 312 lbs anymore!

Happy Monday?

lol.. nah, not really! It's a typical Monday on this side of the world.

I was supposed to be going to the Britney Spears' Circus show today, but my friend that I had tickets with is ill, so we sold the tickets. I'm sure it would have been a great show, but honestly the money sounds better to me right now. I am trying so hard to get ahead the game as far as finances go!

I do hope everyone had a great weekend! I enjoyed mine! :)
Friday, John and I met Michelle, Luke and Amber for Saltgrass.. the steak was uber delicious, and the mushrooms as well! John is starting to complain that eating my leftovers is making him gain! EEK!

Saturday, John and I went to Michelle and David's.. the boys went bike riding, and the girls went bathing suit shopping, and then we were GOING to go to the gym.. well, it didn't end up happening, b/c shopping for bathing suits for post ops is not so easy! I found two that I got.. One for water aerobics and for swimming at the gym.. and the other for fun swimming. I actually tried on a bikini and promptly changed my mind! LOL I got a two piece tankini for fun swimming, and a one piece "slimmer" suit for water aerobics/lap swimming. Later, John and I went to the factory stores in Cypress looking for some shoes..

Game night was Saturday night, and I had a great time as usual. I did have a few drinks, and they really hit me! LOL I was feeling a little ill, but I made it through, and had a great time!

Sunday, we ended going out to David and Michelle's yet again.. this time for tacos and to watch a movie. I was a little sleepy, so ended up taking a little nap through the movie! lol
When I went home Sunday evening, I watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with my mom. John got her reading the books too, so we're watching the movies together as she finishes the books! lol

Well, that was my weekend in a nutshell.. no, I didn't work out, so no success there. I did, however, not snack during the day, and was fairly successful with my weekend goals. I did walk a lot, so maybe that counts for a workout? LOL

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Yesterday, I was one grumpy B*#()! Why? I'm not sure. I'm usually a sunshiney, happy-go-lucky kinda girl. But yesterday, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and never got over it. Today, I'm still kind of grumpy. I HATE IT! I could just be tired... it could be my chronic fatigue becoming "active" again.. it could be any number of things.
I'm not one to make excuses and accept things though. That was the old me. The old me could justify anything, and I will NOT let myself go there again. The past few days I've been feeling the old me trying to resurface.. I've been eating more, and I'm not even hungry. I know it's head hunger. Head hunger is pure evil! So, I'm spending the day making a conscious effort to only eat when I'm hungry, or when I should be eating (ie. lunch). I'm cutting out snacking. If I have head hunger, I will go get myself a cup of calorie free coffee. I'm so close to goal and I will not let the old me sabotoge the new me. I like the new me much better!

In a nutshell, here's my focus for the weekend:

• Work out - whether it's bike riding, walking, the gym.. get a good hour to two hours of sweaty, calorie-burning activity over the weekend.
• No Snacking! Weekends are usually not a problem for me.. it's while I'm at work.. but I want to add this anyways.. lol
• Plan my meals for next week and grocery shop. This is a huge downfall for me. I need to plan every meal, and get snacks that are good for me. Cheese Nips be gone!
• Get my liquids in.... I am a HUGE slacker when it comes to getting my water in. HUGE! I can honestly say that there have been maybe 5 days since surgery where I have gotten at least 64 ounces of water in. This is not good!

I think that's good for now - I don't want to overwhelm myself more than usual! LOL

As far as fun things for the weekend go, I'm not sure what John and I are doing tonight.. Hopefully something low-key and relaxed, as I'm feeling exhausted! Tomorrow, we're going for our weekly bike ride with some friends if the weather cooperates. Tomorrow evening is our monthly game night at Michelle's house. They're always lots of fun! I will allow myself to have a drink or two, but I will not go overboard! :) Then, Sunday will hopefully be another low-key kind of day! :)

Hope you all have great weekends! I'm usually not a poster on the weekends, so I'll be catching up on blogs today and Monday! :)
xoxox

L

Insurance is CRAZY!

So, being the freak I am, I decided to look at the medical claims on my insurance site again. Well, the hospital one came in, and it's making the surgeon one look like chump change. The member responsibility on the hospital bill is $33,400+. WHAT THE HECK!? What are they filling out wrong for them to be denied? I just don't get it. I even got a letter in the mail that the hospital bill was covered. This is freakin ridiculous. If all this goes through the chain and I end up being responsible for all of this nonsense, I will NOT pay it. That's what insurance is for, and they make doctors and hospitals write off gargantuan amounts, and there is no way in hell I will pay the full amount due.. SO THERE!

Anyways, I can see that I will have lots of phone calls to be making in the near future. Lovely! Have I ever mentioned that I hate dealing with doctors and hospitals? Well, let me tell you... I HATE IT!

Anyway, last night for sushi happy hour was nice. I was strong and did not have a happy hour cocktail. :) I'm very proud of myself! After happy hour, I went to Memorial City Mall to Macys. I got 2 $50 gift cards for Christmas, and I still have one that I haven't used. I have been three times and I just can't find anything that yells out to me that I just have to have! Which, if you know me very well, is absolute CRAZINESS! I usually find wayyyy more things than I could possibly want, need, or afford. Maybe I really am reforming myself financially and finally growing up. Even though something is basically "free" for me, ie. gift card, I can't justify spending $30 on a T-shirt... or $90 on shoes. Wow, who am I? LOL

I may end up using it at the Estee Lauder counter or Clinique counter since I'm not finding any clothes. My bank has a rewards program when you use your debit card as a credit card at differnt places, and I just earned enough points for a TJ Maxx $50 gift card. I know I'll have no problem using that card! LOL I love that place! :)

I may blog again later, but I'm having a really busy day today, and I've griped enough for now! hehe

Hugs to you all! :)

Bruising

Does anyone else look like a beat up old banana half the time? I bruise sooo easily post op.

New Day, New Attitude

OK - I think I've fixed my attitude.. at least for the time being! :)
I went to the gym after work yesterday, and since no one wants me to do weights yet b/c of my tendency to overdo it, I did 40 minutes on the elliptical machine, burning 350 calories.. woo hoo!
Then, I went to get my massage, and WOW, it was very nice! My massage therapist worked on my back and shoulders and seemed to get a bunch of the knots out.. YAY! :)
I went home afterwards and had dinner, and read for awhile. My boyfriend is having me read the Harry Potter series, and I'm on book 4 now. It's actually really good, and I never in a million years thought I would like it! LOL
This morning, I woke up and went to the gym again! I would love this to turn into a habit, but I know that I am NOT a morning person, so we shall see what comes of it. It's nice knowing that it's only 9:15 and I already got my daily workout in though.. I need to see what classes are being offered and where.. I can tell that I'm going to get bored on the elliptical very soon. I kept wanting to get off and do something else, like weights or crunches, but theyr'e forbidden right now.
Today, I have a sushi happy hour after work. I'm not going to let myself have any martinis even though they're only $3! Just my 3-4 pieces from my roll and give the rest to someone else.
When I get home, my little to do list (with bullet points, hahaha)

• Do Hip Hop Abs or Turbo Jam - 20-30 minutes
• Sync my iPod and make an exercise play list (may help with motivation)
• Read 50-100 pages of my book
• Get gym bag packed so I don't have to go back home to shower and get ready after tomorrow morning's workout! :)

Well, I should probably get to work.. I have a busy day today! :) I'm sure I'll end up posting later! :)

Hugs to all!

xoxo

L

Thanks :)

Thanks for the encouraging comments and emails. I will calm down, and I know I'm notorious for being hard on myself.
Here's today's plan:

• Leaving work at 3:45 and going to the gym
• After the gym, and shower, I'm getting my monthly massage at Massage Envy.

Hopefully that will get me out of my mini funk and on with the day!

Oh - on the whole insurance issue with my $6200 responsibility - the insurance company called me back, and the surgeon is going to resubmit. So, it will likely be in the $1000 range, which is MUCH, MUCH better than $6200. Medical bills suck, and I know many of you are feeling my pain!

I'm off to the gym now. I promise not to overdo it, but I really need to get back into the groove of things. It will help me unclench! :)

Hugs to you all :)

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I'm having a tough day today.. I hopped on the scale, and it said 160. So, that's like a 5 pound gain over the past few days. What caused it? Lots of things. I will use bullet points, as they are uber cool! heheh

• I had a terrible lunch yesterday. A Whataburger Jr (most of the bread too), small frieds
• I ate 5 Oreos last night (spaced out so I didn't dump)
• I haven't been going to the gym on a regular basis b/c everyone is paranoid I'm going to over do it.
• I haven't been making the best food choices all around lately.

As far as the burger goes.. I paid for it.. dry heaves, and feeling like crap.. so I doubt I will do that again anytime soon.

Oreos? Well, my nephews were in town last week, and my mom feels the need to sugar them up.. she's grandma after all. Well, the Oreos are gone now, thank heavens! unforunately, they're gone via my stomach! :(

I am going back to the gym again today. Once last week doesn't cut it. I need more activity than that. I am only going to do cardio. I don't want to hurt myself or over do it.. I just want to burn calories.

As far as food choices go... I have head hunger like crazy lately. I don't know why, but I need to fix it. I need to get my book out again and start following it. If any of you haven't gotten the Beck Diet Solution, by Judith Beck, I HIGHLY recommend it. The subtitle is "How to Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person". I digress though, you have to read it.. simply owning it doesn't do crap for ya, take it from me!!! It's a really good read though, and you have tasks to do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.

Well, I don't want to be more of a Debbie Downer today, so I'll just end this here! lol
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be cheerful and weigh a little less. I just hope part of this is water weight!!

Weekend Update

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm cheesy! hehe

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Mine was great! Friday night, John and I went to dinner with Michelle and our other friends, Luke and Amber. We had Mexican food at a great little place called Los Cucos. I ordered soft tacos, and had one. But, I had to go screw it up and have a margarita too! I have to confess, I enjoy having a drink every now and again. I always stop myself at one, so I am not worried about that being a "transfer addiction". But wow, I get so uber silly when I have a cocktail! I don't know where I was going with this, but Oh well! haha Anyway, afterwards we went to go see the new Nicolas Cage Movie, Knowing. It was actually really good. We didn't get back to John's until 1 am, and then woke up bright and early for Saturday!

Saturday is our bike riding day. Michelle's boyfriend David went in Michelle's absense (tailbone surgery has her out from riding for another week or two), and Luke and Amber met us at Terry Hershey Park. The boys went their way and Amber and I rode about 8 miles again. I can't wait until I feel really comfortable on a bike. I'm wondering when that is ever going to happen! It seemed this time was harder than the first for some reason. I kept at a speed between 7-10 mph, but really feel like I should be going faster. Am I pushing myself too hard? After the ride, we were standing around drinking our water and loading up bikes, and I started to get really light headed. UGH! I'm not sure if I didn't drink enough water, didn't have enough for breakfast, or what.. but I hate that feeling.

Saturday evening David, Michelle, John and I went to an Aeros game. We won 2-1, and are solid in 2nd place now! If you haven't been to an Aeros game and live in the Houston area, you should! It's good, cheap fun! :) I can give you my ticket guy's information if you like.. he's great, and will get you good seats and likely a discount! :)

Sunday was a lazy day.. I like lazy days.. I read some of the Harry Potter book (I'm on book 4 now), played some WoW with John and Michelle, caught up on The Office (LOVE THAT SHOW!), and just lounged around a bunch. It was nice.

Hope all is well with everyone. I am working on catching up on my blog reading. :)

xoxo

Happy Surgiversary to Jil!!

Today is a day of celebration for our dear Jil. It is her surgiversary... One year ago today, she was at the hospital, getting a life changing surgery. Today, she is almost 200 lbs lighter, and a whole new person! Just wanted to send my love!

Love ya honeybunch! :) Enjoy your day!

Getting to Know Me Q & A

Not sure what to blog about today, so I figured I would just fill out one of these silly surveys... anyone else at a loss, do the same! hehehe

Apple juice or orange juice? Neither
Are you a morning or night person? NIGHT!!
Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods? I'd have to go with Salty!
Ninjas or pirates? Both are super cool! I'd have to go with ninjas though!
Ninjas vs pirates, discuss. Not much to discuss here...
Autobots or Decepticons? Autobots!
What was your favorite childhood television program? Punky Brewster
Are you a collector of anything? Books
If you could be any animal, what would you be? I would be an eagle... I could fly around and it'd be against the law to shoot me down! lol
If you could have any superpower, what would it be? This is a toughie... I'd say to be able to become invisible.. MUAHAHAHA
What is usually your first thought when you wake up? DAMN IT!!!!
What do you usually think about right before falling asleep? Unfortunately my monster to do list for the next day
What's your favorite color? Red this week
What's your favorite animal? Dogs.. I love my chihuahua
Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? I'm sure it's possible but I'm a skeptic
Do you believe in ghosts? No
Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)? Yes... Used to be Sims Online.. and World of Warcraft... Not an addict of either, but still like to play WoW.
You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on? I would pay my debt, my mom and sister's families, and buy a house.. and put a few hundred k in savings... :)
Have any bad habits? Oh yes, tons!!
Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy? Of other people, or of me? Slow drivers annoy the crap out of me, especially when they cut you off! lol
List 3 of your best personality traits: good friend, sincere, honest
List 3 of your worst personality traits: too nice sometimes (ie. easily walked over), let things bother me too easily, a little too impulsive
Have any celebrity crushes? Carter Oosterhouse and Hugh Jackman.. YUM!
List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: my skin tautness.. haha does that count?
Any tattoos or piercings? No Tattoos and just my ears pierced
What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Their smile and eyes
What personality traits do you look for in a partner? Sincerity, honesty, similar values, sense of humor, the list goes on
What personality traits do you dislike in other people? Selfishness
Are you mostly a clean or messy person? on the messy side, but my problem is too much stuff in too small of a space lol... i'm working on it though!
Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years? I would hope so!
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Houston
If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go? Italy, Greece, England and Ireland.. oh yeah Germany too! lol
List 5 goals on your life's to-do list: 1) Get married 2) Have cute babies 3) Finish College 4) Become a homeowner again 5) Be as happy as possible!
Name 1 regret you have: Trusting someone I shouldn't have
Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid: Being carefree
Name 1 thing you love about being an adult: Being responsible
What's your favorite song of the moment? No You Girls by Franz Ferdinand!
What's your favorite song of all time? Too many to name... depends on my mood!
What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night? So many things come to mind... just being in great company.. with John, with my friends :)
What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon? Same as Saturday night!
Have any hidden talents? If I told you, they wouldn't be hidden anymore!
You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal? Fondue from the Melting Pot!
What would be your dream job? I honestly don't know what I want to do when I "grow up".. Be a good mother
Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love? True Love
If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? 1) to be debt free 2) happiness for everyone i know 3) world peace :-)
Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why? Nah
Name 1 thing not many people know about you: I hate peas and broccoli.
If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd change it to Kylee or Kaia.. :) i like K names.. lol

Ok, that's it for today, folks! hehe
I'm sure I'll be a chatty girl tomorrow..

hugs to all!:)

Spring is Almost Here!

Ladies and Gentlemen...
Spring is almost here. It is my favorite season. The weather is beautiful, people seem to be getting out of their grumpy moods, flowers and trees start blooming, and the sunshine stays with us longer.. What's not to love?

The weather in Houston gets unbearably hot during the summer, so our outdoor fun times are usually the fall and the spring. If I'm outside in the summer, it's because I'm in a swimming pool, or en route to somewhere that has air conditioning! LOL This weekend, I hope to go on another bike ride. I really enjoyed my first ride, but then we've gotten some crappy weather since then. I'm ready to start feeling really comfortable on a bike and not fear falling off. I hope that happens soon! lol

While I've been really busy at work, this week is still dragging. I feel so tired that I almost feel a little drunk. I've have a headache since the whole insurance thing came about (no resolution as of yet), and I just can't kick it. Hopefully that will work out quickly so I can get another monkey off my back.

As far as the saving money thing goes in my life, I purchased my 24 hour fitness membership at Costco yesterday for $299 for 2 years. I was paying $31.39 a month, and the $299 works out to $12.50 a month. Net Savings: $454.36! I called yesterday to cancel my membership with them, and I have to pay one more month, as they require 30 days notice. So, I have a membership until May 24, and then I can redeem my certificate that I purchased at Costco. Yeah, it really sucked spending all of that money at once, but honestly, I feel it was a great investment. Not only am I saving a ton of money, it's one less monthly bill that I have to deal with or think about. Huzzah!!

Well, I've been writing this over a period of about 2 hours because it's been pretty busy at work, so I guess I will post for now, and if more comes to me, I'll just blog again! :)
Have a great day!

I cheated!

Yeah, I did it.. I cheated and went to the gym. I'm not far from a month out, and I had a really bad afternoon yesterday, so I figured that'd be a good way to get my frustrations out. I didn't do anything besides cardio, and I only did 20 minutes, which I was mad at myself for, but I promised myself I was just going to get a mini workout in since I wasn't even supposed to go to the gym. lol

I keep looking on my help insurance website to see what my bills are going to look like, and yesterday I saw that my surgeon's bill came through. I FREAKED when I saw it. The amount I owe provider is $6,212.07. WTF!? When I saw yesterday, I immediately called the insurance company, but they were closed for business. I'm one who cries when mad, stressed, freaked out, etc... so yesterday I was just crying away on the drive home from work.. Ugh! I still have no answers, but I spoke with someone at the insurance company and they are calling the surgeon's office. So hopefully it is just a case of paperwork filled in incorrectly or something of the sort. If I'm responsible for that crazy amount, I don't know what I'll do. That's just the surgeon's bill, and I still have the hospital one that hasn't showed up yet, as well as the anesthesiologist, etc. I really hate having to deal with doctors, hospitals and insurance companies.. they never make it easy, that's for sure!!

Anyways, that's my stress for yesterday, and ongoing stress until it's figured out.

Back to the Grind

Happy Monday to you all! I hope the weekend was fabulous for you. I had a great time!
On Friday, I had a half day at work, so I left at 11 am, and dawdled around a bit. I headed over to John's around 2:30 or so, and we had a late lunch... vietnamese food, delish! Then we went to visit Michelle, one of my dear friends who is also a RNY patient. She had an outpatient surgery on Friday, so we wanted to check up on her. She was fairly alert, or at least I thought so! On Sunday when I talked to her, she said that she heard I came over... but she talked to me the whole time. hahaha
Saturday, John and I went to his cousin's house for a BBQ. One of his cousins is going to Afghanistan, so his family had a get together. It was really nice to meet more of his family. :) Then, we headed out to Austin for Spamalot. Wow, it was soooo freakin funny! I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it was worth the 2.5 hour drive! :-) Next time we may make a weekend of the Austin thing, but this time around we just had too much going on.
Sunday was a lazy day. I had a bit of a headache most of the day and didn't feel like doing much of anything except lounging around. It was nice being lazy though. I don't let myself do that too often!
This week, I have another half day on Friday, so i'm trying to get my extra 4 hours in today and Wednesday. I have to leave early on Tuesday to take my mom to the doctor, and I want to be done with the extra time early this week so I'm not busting my butt later in the week.

I weighed on John's scale yesterday and I was at 154.4. Woo hoo! If I make it to the 140s, I will just freak! I'm fine where I'm at now, but you all know how obsessive I am! hahah

Well, I need to get back to work and catch up on my blog reading! :)

Hugs to you all! I'll be writing again soon... I'm actually making this a habit! haha

Dr. W Update

I had my appointment with Dr. Weinstein yesterday, and all is well. He wants me to wait a month from surgery (so march 18th) to go to the gym. He said that I could go now, but based on what he's heard from me in the past, I should wait a month b/c I have a tendency to overdo it. LOL He did say I can skip Dr. J's appointment since he's taking care of me. My excess armage (like my new word?) is all extra skin, no fat. Same with my extra guttage.. I didn't drop my pants to show him my melted thighs, but I can assume it's about 50% skin and the rest fat.. lol. He basically said, whatever body parts you hated the worst before, you're going to still hate them b/c of extra skin, and I probably have about 8 lbs of extra skin on me.. JOY!

Kim, Dr. W said hi, and he asked how John was doing. :-) He's so nice! I told him that from reading your blogs, he's doing great and following the rules. :-)

On another note, in an effort to cut spending, I have quit Weight Watchers. I'm close enough to goal and really want to get close to financial goals, so I figured that would be a good start, as it's $39.99 a month, and I've been missing more than I've been attending lately!

It's so chilly today. It's fireplace and hot cocoa weather, and I'm at work and freezing.. bummer deal! I'm sipping my cinnabon coffee though, and it's delish!

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I'm going to Austin with John on Saturday to go to one of my Broadway Across America shows, Spamalot! It should be lots of fun! :) I want to go on another bike ride, but it doesn't look like the weather is going to cooperate! :(

Sleepiness Maximus!

Wow, I'm tired! I have been waking up at 5 am every day for the past 3 days. My work allows us to take half days on two Fridays of the month - with the stipulation that we work a full 40 hours, so basically four 9 hour days, and one 4 hour day. It never fails that I have a doctor's appointment during these weeks, so I have to leave early one day, and end up having to pull a twelve hour day just to have enough hours to leave early.. SIGH! But, I've made it to work at 6:30 every day this week, and I will have all my time to make my half day. The great thing is that John is off all week, so he'll be able to do something when I get out of work tomorrow. Huzzah! I've gotten to see him every day this week, so I've been getting spoiled rotten! The funny thing is, I got stuck in traffic yesterday on my way to see him (Houston people, I HATE 290!), and within 10 minutes of getting to his apartment, I passed out for an hour. I am not a morning person at all! LOL Thank God tomorrow is Friday! :)

Today I go visit Dr. Weinstein. I presume it's follow up for my hospital stay, as well as to get bloodwork done for my Vitamin D (which is always low - I reflect the sun because I'm so pale, so therefore no Vitamin D gets absorbed!) and Iron, as my hemoglobins were low while in the hospital.

Then on March 24, I go to see the surgeon who did my surgery, Dr. J. I'm considering canceling this appointment, as I am seeing Dr. W today, and I was disappointed to find out that Dr. J is NOT in my network. I'm very terrified to get my bill for his services, unless he bills through the hospital, which is highly unlikely. So please keep my finances in your prayers that he is somehow in my network.. I can't afford the bills that are in network, let alone out! EEEK! What do you all think? If Dr. W gives me a clean bill of health, should I ditch the other appointment? I think it's just going to be a $20 copay to say, you're good to go, no need to come back!

Wow, I've been blogging a lot lately! Hurray! :) I hope I'm not boring you all to tears, because I just ramble on and on and on... and on! LOL

I'll post an update tomorrow with details from Dr. W's appointment. Since I'm sure he's going to look at my stomach to check the incisions anyways, I'm tempted to ask him if my stomach is fat or excess skin. I'm at the point where I don't know how much more I need to lose besides getting to my magical 140s at least for a short instant.

Love to you all! Hope you all have a wonderful, worry free day! :)

I'm Normal! Well, Relatively Speaking...

I honestly thought this day would never come.. Since my scale is flaky, it may leave me again, but for now, it's real! I have a BMI of 24.8, which is in the NORMAL range. I have gone from super morbidly obese with a BMI of 50.3 to a healthy, normal BMI of 24.8 in just 17 short months. It's a very surreal feeling! Am I where I want to be yet? No. If I stay here though, I will be alright. I could say I care less what the scale says now, but I know I'd be lying to myself and to you all. I just want to see the 140s. Even if it's for a moment. I think I was in the 140s when I was in 5th or 6th grade. Maybe not. I really don't remember that, I just remember being the fattest kid/adult anywhere I ever went. I'm not that girl anymore, but I still feel that way sometimes. Part of me wants her in my head still, so I can remember where I came from and to make sure I never go back there. The other part wants her forgotten, only to be a distant memory.
I really want to tone up a lot. I don't know how much of my thighs, butt, and stomach fat is really fat, or extra skin. I'm sure quite a bit is skin, but it's really hard telling. I'm ready to get back into a workout routine. Bike riding was so much fun, and I am excited to make that part of my workout, especially while the weather isn't excruciatingly hot! I also am ready to start taking classes, as that will spice things up a bit for me. There are so many different classes at all the 24 Hour Fitness places that are close to me. Some possibilities: belly dancing, hip hop, pilates, yoga, etc. I'm really looking forward to some variety. I'll always love the elliptical, but it'll be nice to do classes as well. Maybe it will make me a little more graceful.. doubtful, but one can dream! LOL
Well, I guess I should get back to work.. just wanted to check in and ramble a bit!
Hope all is well with everyone! :)
Hugs!

Happy Monday! :-)

Hello to all! :-)
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Mine was great. Friday night, I went to dinner with John. There is an awesome stir fry place on 290 at Tidwell called Kublai Khan's Crazy Mongolian Stir Fry. You basically make your own plate using raw foods, and then make a sauce, and they stir fry it for you. They add no oils or fats, they use water and whatever sauce you conjure up. Quite tasty! :-) Saturday, John and I picked up Michelle and we all went for our first bike ride. It was an experience! haha The first trail we went to started with a big hill (going DOWN!), and then once the hill ended, there was a bridge. Let me just say, I was terrified. I had decided I was going to walk my bike down that hill because it was too steep, and I haven't ridden a bike since I was about 10 years old. Well, my bike started moving down the hill with me still on it, and the pedals got away from me! Amazingly, I did not end up in the water, or with my face permanently planted into the bridge.. I didn't even fall! And even better, John didn't see me! hahah After that adventure, it was smooth sailing. We ended up riding about 8 miles. I'm not sure if that is good or not, but hey, I'll take it! :) It was definitely a great work out. It was a quite windy day, so we got to ride half of our trail against the wind, and that was challenging! We took Michelle back home, and then we all had time to get ready for the evening, and out we went again! We went to the Aeros game. It was a lot of fun. Then on Sunday, I went with John to visit his family up in Splendora. It was really nice. His mom is super sweet, and his niece and nephew are lots of fun. Then in the evening, we went to see the Watchmen. It was an interesting movie. I liked it, but it wasn't anything that I thought it would be, and it is DEFINITELY not child or even teenager appropriate.
I made it through my crazy week at work last week, and this week is actually going pretty well so far. I have a half day on Friday, which rocks because John has the whole week off, and I can spend more time with him. Tomorrow night I have another hockey game, and Thursday I leave a little early to go see Dr. W for my hospital follow up. Exciting stuff. :-)
Anyways, I'm just rambling as usual.. Till next time! :-)
GG

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Hello all! I'm back to work as of Monday of this week, right in the middle of my month end close. The funny thing is, they don't want me to work more than 8 hours a day to try to prevent me from stressing out. Well, if I miss my deadline b/c I can't work an extra hour or two, I think I'll stress more! I've never NOT made my deadline. We shall see how this week pans out.. lol

This past weekend, I celebrated my 33rd birthday. A few of my friends came over for cake and ice cream, and then we went to Benihana. Yes, dessert first! LOL We went to Dave & Busters afterwards and had a great time!

My sweet, wonderful boyfriend bought me my bike for my birthday. I ended up getting a TREK 7100, and it's SWEET! I love it! We're going riding this weekend, and I simply cannot wait! :) It'll be great exercise, I'll get some Vitamin D in the sunshine, and most importantly, it will be FUN! :)

I'm feeling a lot better now as well. No more stomach aches. Life without a gallbladder is much more comfortable than my life with my gallbladder as of late.. Or maybe it was the hernia.. Life is definitely better without the hernia! lol Leave it to me to get the complication with a 0.0025% complication rate!

Anyways, I better get back to work. I just wanted to check in with everyone. I'll be catching up on my blog reading over the next few days.

Love to you all! :)
xoxo